My Book List

Since I spent so much time in solitary confinement, I’m constantly asked what books helped my the most so I want to put them out there publicly with the hopes that they help others to the same extent that they helped me.

1) “How To Win Friends And Influence People” By Dale Carnegie. This book sounds corny but is all about how to communicate better with people and that’s vital to every part in our life. Even with the best intentions or idea, the wrong delivery will mess it all up.

2) “48 Laws Of Power” By Robert Greene. This book is all about strategy and can help any of us in our professional lives.

3) “Graphology” By Michael Watts. Our handwriting reveals how we think, our insecurities, sexual preferences, personality, etc. The purpose of this book is to teach you to analyze handwriting for business recruitment or personal reasons. Major corporations use this every day and it’s an excellent tool to have.

4) “The 50th Law” By Robert Greene and 50 Cent. I was turned off by the whole 50 Cent aspect at first but this book is all about conquering daily fears that we all have, such as fear of death. Without overcoming fear, inner peace is impossible.

5) The Rich Dad, Poor Dad series By Robert Kiyosaki. Financial intelligence leads to less stress and this series teaches you about everything you need to become wealthy on any income.

6) Any book by Ayn Rand. Some think her philosophy too harsh but a rational mind is the key to inner peace since most of our stress is caused by trying to make reality fit our beliefs.




Posted in Personal

Why I’m Atheist Part 1

I was raised in a Christian home but never really took to the whole religious thing as a kid. To me, there were too many things that didn’t make sense and all those unanswered questions turned me off. Sure, I believed in God growing up, and feared Hell, but didn’t follow the Biblical mandates nor even think twice about the potential consequences for that decision.

When I went to prison, I refused to be one of the frauds who pretended to find God, becoming a Bible thumper out of fear; but since I still believed in God and got involved with the standard racial elements of prison, I started to study Christian Identity. This was white power Christianity and part of my journey to becoming who I am now but anyone who reads my blog knows that I left this all behind for reasons I’ve spoken on before. The reason I bring this up is because part of Christian Identity is studying the original Hebrew Old Testament and Greek New Testament, which reveals a Bible far different than modern preachers portray it. I’ll touch on this more in Part 2, but for now, all I’m going to say about it is that the original manuscripts have no contradictions but it also makes it something that I refuse to participate in.

Christians claim that the Bible was written by God through man, but if that’s the case, wouldn’t all versions be the same? Instead, the entire history of the Bible shows nothing but constant errors in translations and many of the books found to be inconsistent with Constantine’s church doctrines.were banned from the Bible. Between the banned books and mis-translations, religion is made into whatever a church wants it to be and proof of that is all the different denominations. If the Bible was divinely inspired, there would be one version and one denomination. The Bible is clearly homophobic and sexist but modern Churches sin to be politically correct,yet admit, through action, that they feel their God is wrong. So how can any rational person take religion seriously?

Preachers teach us that God wants us to hate all worldly things (life itself) and to deprive ourselves of our psychological needs. Sexual release and seeking to achieve one’s highest potential are two requirements for true happiness but we’re taught that lust and success are sins; or basically, that happiness is a sin. The Biblical “sin” doesn’t come in the form of action, but the thought itself; yet, it’s all set up so that no matter what, everyone sins. When a Christian strives to be a true Christian, they start to hate themselves, because no matter how hard they try, they can never be what the Bible says they should be. For the most part, that self-loathing is subconscious and reveals itself through insecurity which leads to two paths: self-destructive rebellion or self-righteous extremism to overcompensate for what one feels he/she lacks. Heaven is dangled like a carrot on the stick to keep the sheep towing the line but I discovered through experience that happiness comes with balance rather than Hedonism or self-deprivation. So I chose to walk away from religion and decided that even if there is a God, I’d be willing to face the consequences for that decision. Religion is anti-happiness so I’m anti-religion.

I started to see how religion is used to give strength but I found that true strength came from within so I felt it weak to need to rely on external elements for it. I saw the key to happiness as being your best mentally, physically and emotionally while satisfying physical and psychological needs in a balanced manner. I no longer cared that I sinned, I was being myself and that was very liberating. The further I broke away, the more I began to not even believe in a God, period, since believing in anything without proof was irrational. There’s more proof of Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny than of God but somehow I was supposed to deprive myself of happiness for this unproven entity and promises.

I’m now a better person as an Atheist since I’m truly at peace and I love myself. Since I seek to be my best at all times, everyone around me pushes themselves harder and the fruits of my labors affect others in positive ways. I commit kind acts because I feel it’s the best thing to do, NOT because I want God to approve. I live by my rules so I set my own path. I don’t care what others choose to believe but I’m Atheist and happy.

Posted in Personal

My Testimony At The Senate Hearing

On March 10, 2014 I testified at the State Capitol Building at the Senate Hearing on banning solitary confinement for offenders with a serious mental illness. Granted the bill does have it’s flaws, such as allowing CDOC to define “serious mental illness” and allows for those with a serious mental illness to be placed in solitary confinement if exigent circumstances exist; while allowing CDOC to also define “exigent circumstances”. That works as long as we have Executive Director Raemisch is in charge but that changes if someone else gets elected and appoints another Executive Director, who then is free to abuse that power as always happened in the past.

Most of those who testified at the hearing brought up this fact, that “serious mental illness” and “exigent circumstances” must be statutorily defined to prevent the prison system abuse that brought us to this point and the senators seemed to want to give CDOC the benefit of the doubt but also seemed willing to strip them of that power should they abuse it. From my experience, any power will be abused by the system.

The senators themselves appeared truly concerned about the solitary confinement issue, but like most people in power, also lacked a full understanding of the issue and wanted to apply theoretical solutions. That is, until Senator Linda Newell asked me to help her establish effective programs for the prisoners, before and after release. Senator King also brought up a good point, that the State government had failed in it’s responsibility to take care of indigent mentally ill citizens who went to prison instead of the proper mental health facilities. He stated correctly that it’s not the responsibility of the Dept. of Corrections to deal with the mentally ill so mentally ill prisoners should be held somewhere other than prison.

The CDOC Deputy Director spoke about how offenders are seen monthly by prison mental health experts so that no one with a serious mental illness stays in solitary confinement but I explained to the senators that this monthly visit consisted of mental health going door to door asking if we were ok. In a world of machismo, very few admit to mental illness or mental weakness in front of others and many are too mentally ill to know they aren’t ok. Plus, mental health staff who treat us with compassion and do their jobs are harassed by the guards until they quit or treat us as sub-human like the culture demands.

My testimony related to my personal experience with 8 years in solitary confinement; the mental issues and adaptation to the real world after my release. I don’t think anyone expected to hear from someone who had lived it for so long but my message was taken seriously. They’re creating monsters and I have the solution. Hopefully, Senator Newell and I can make a difference.

It felt good to be the voice for those who can’t speak for themselves but this is only the beginning. I won’t rest until the system is set up in the rational manner that I have put together in my prison recidivism plan. I thank those who have encouraged my fight and listened with compassion.

Posted in Personal

Recent Battle With Corrupt Cops

A few weeks ago I released a document I prepared that proved a felony committed by Larimer County Sheriff’s Deputy Josh Sheldon in a case against my brother then the cover up and retaliation. I included the link to that document but, in sum, the deputy blatantly perjured himself on the stand and the press found out about it then Sheriff Justin Smith covered it up and the DA’s office refused to prosecute. So, he still has a job and they’ve framed my brother for over 15 felonies since then in retaliation when he actually went legit 3 years ago.

Not even a week after the release of the document, the parole office that supervises me received an “anonymous” call that I was selling guns out of a hidden compartment in my home so they came to search while I was cuffed in front of my girlfriend. Of course they found nothing because I’ve been legit since my release from prison but sent me into a PTSD attack.

The secret compartment was one where we had a stair that could pull out to store items that only the informant in my brother’s cases (Aaron Bloedol) knew about and told DEA officer Tonozzi and Deputy Sheldon about. This was one of the tactics they used to get my brother’s parole revoked that I revealed in the document but it failed to work on me because I don’t violate my parole in any way and my parole officer wants to see me succeed. However, it’s still disturbing that cops, who are supposed to protect the public, actually committed another felony in reporting a false crime but it’s ok because we will be subpoenaing the phone call records as part of our lawsuit.

I told my parole officer about the anonymous source of information and he knows I’m telling the truth since my name hasn’t been mentioned in criminal circles the entire 19 months that I’ve been out. No one is good enough to avoid being mentioned by gossiping dope fiends so the fact that my name isn’t mentioned, means I not only went legit, but that I don’t associate with anyone who isn’t.

I also know that the Drug Task force that Tonozzi and Sheldon are apart of, have been contacting all their informants to try to get anyone to say anything that could put me in jail but I’m not really worried about it because I’m truly living a lawful life so any attempt to frame me will be easily proven as retaliation in court.

I do have protection from media sources who are chomping at the bit to write about corrupt officers framing someone who overcame 8 years in solitary confinement to help others and become a productive member of society, plus politicians who love my story. That doesn’t mean that I’m untouchable so I keep my car in the garage to prevent anyone from planting anything in it and let my dogs roam my house when I’m not here to keep intruders away.

This does take a toll on my mental state, as I’m back in the survival mode that got me through 12 years of prison and am in a heightened state of alert in combination with the occasional PTSD attacks rendering me useless for days at a time. Yet, I refuse to back off until our system rids itself of corruption and any amount of resulting retaliation is worth exposing the system for what it is. The system became corrupt due to naivete and fearing the consequences of exposing it but I’ve never been one to be bullied and I don’t think they can do anything to me that they haven’t done before besides kill me. However, if they need to kill me to silence me, then everyone will know what happened and the subsequent media storm will be worth it. Not that I’m sacrificing myself or hoping to be a martyr, I’ve just been tortured too bad by the system and can’t come to peace with it until I make a positive difference. Hope I have your support…



Posted in Personal

Recent Corruption In The War On Drugs

Most of us have heard of the “Fast and the Furious” debacle where ATF agents allowed firearm sales to criminals linked to Mexican drug cartels for the purpose of tracking them but completely failed in that tracking and basically armed the cartels unintentionally. Well, lately we find out that there’s more to that story and there was no unintentional arming. Come to find out, that arming and funding the Sinaloa Cartel was part of the original strategy in exchange for information on the other cartels. In addition to the arming and funding, America also agreed not to prosecute certain cartel members or apprehend them despite the warrants for their arrests and to completely ignore their drug trafficking operations.


This is nothing new, as the American government has always had it’s dirty little paws all over the Black Market drug industry from the Reagan Administration helping South American Contras traffic cocaine to California then teaching black gangs to make crack cocaine to protecting opium fields in Afghanistan and helping with trafficking. Neither of these are rare instances but rather just widely known examples of our government taking part in the drug trade. The “War on Drugs” is a facade because profits are too high and our government has become one of the main players.


Despite all of this, the American government still has the highest incarceration rate in the world with 5% of the world’s population yet 25% of it’s prisoners, where almost 50% of those US prisoners have drug charges. This is a blatant example of corruption and how our government believes itself to be above the law but the majority still wants to ignore the issues, hoping they’ll just magically disappear. Well, that’s how we got to this point! Our government was set up to be servants of the People but over the years we have signed away our rights in exchange for false security and have chosen boob tube hypnosis instead of keeping our government honest. It’s not okay for our government to incarcerate it’s citizens for the same activities it commits!


Now we’re at a point where people are too scared to oppose government and we bow our heads as it does as it wants. It has become our master and all we hope for is that it doesn’t turn it’s ugly head our way. What has this country come to? How did a Nation founded by heroes turn into one of cowards? Does anyone really think that tyranny committed against others can’t be committed against them?


Our government has discredited itself and it’s up to us to hold them accountable. Non-violent, legal means is the only way to succeed so it’s time to vote them all out of office, Republican and Democrat. We need to stand up as one when any corruption or violation of rights is committed by our government. It is our servant but our servant has forgotten it’s place. The American Dream wasn’t meant to be a nightmare where we fear our government, it was meant for individual rights in a Nation where the government feared the People. At this point, anyone who chooses ignorance or to ignore the issue is part of the problem and has no right to call themselves a true American. Stand up or get out.

Posted in Political

Stanley Cohen ►Up The Rebels!

Stanley Cohen, Defender of Anonymous in PayPal14 case. August 19th, 2013 at ThoughtWorks New York City: Speaks at Benefit for Jeremy Hammond and Barrett Brown. “Rebels on the Dancefloor” (demo mix by Squig) NWO crushing beats featuring brother Stanley Cohen speaking truth to power In Solidarity with FreeAnons.

Posted in Video

In Support Of Anonymous

As you all know, I like controversy and to fight our corrupt system through legitimate channels. I refuse to tuck tail and hide as our government becomes more corrupt, while there’s nothing they can do to me, besides kill me, that they haven’t done already. The corruption has gotten so bad that the usual means of legitimate fighting, such as the court system, has become so heavily in favor of those who are corrupted that the common man stands little chance in defending himself. This is by design, as the puppet masters want the little man to feel helpless so they become docile like good little puppets. However, the group Anonymous has started fighting for individuals and is making it’s mark.


The group has no open philosophy and membership must be hidden since they are the number one enemy of the puppet masters. Sure, by supporting them openly, I bring heat to myself, but it’s heat I don’t mind. The corruption has unleashed a personal war on my family and I refuse to hide under my bed while they suffer.


Being an Objectivist, I oppose theft on any level as it’s the application of force. However, I can’t consider the actions of Anonymous as theft, even as they have stolen information from government and money from corporations. Government information is all collected about us illegally any way but even if that wasn’t the case, I would see it as them collecting information on their enemies just as any one would do. Also, from my research, Anonymous has only stolen money from corporations who have received government handouts that were, in fact, stolen from citizens. Yes, taxation is theft since it’s not voluntary.


The only part I really disagree with them is the fact that they supported the Occupy Movement being that it’s against economic inequality and that always leads to Marxism. I think this is because Anonymous mistakes Capitalism with Corporatism because a group that’s so anti-establishment couldn’t ever support a totalitarian Marxist system. And I hope, over time, that Anonymous separates itself from Marxist movements and continues the good fight against corruption, oppression and corporatism.


Check out the amazing videos on the Anonymous YouTube Channel  and don’t be afraid to do so, most of us are on government watch lists anyway and you should be ashamed of yourself if you’re not. Corruption depends on cowardice; do you want to fuel corruption or try to fix the problem? Ignoring the problem makes you part of it and ignorance is no defense. WAKE UP!!! Quit being puppets.



Posted in Personal

Lessons On Approaching Strong/Independent Women

Most of my friends are truly strong and independent woman; not the type who just pretend they are. Being their good friends, I hear a lot of their complaints and they’re very similar. Their number one complaint is that they’re constantly approached by or get into relationships with pathetic men. Personally, I don’t care if you all get it together but since my friends aren’t satisfied, I feel the need to help you guys out so I don’t have to see them constantly disappointed.


First off, don’t even think about approaching them if you’re insecure, mentally weak/emotionally unstable or dishonorable. I know we all would like to think that we’re the best in the world but reality states different.


Someone insecure feels the need to one up others, make fun of other males for failing to comply with society’s ideal standards of manhood when no one does, acts self-righteous, bullies others or gets into constant pissing contests. True alpha male sees most other males as flies to his lion and he embraces his feminine aspects that all men have. An insecure male feels the need to control and refuses to see his woman as his partner. If you want a trophy wife, find a diva/princess and run from the queen.


Physical strength is fine and dandy but what a real woman wants is someone who won’t break down when life gets hard. Beat your chest all you want but are you calm under pressure and battle tested? Will you be her rock when times get tough or will she have to drag you to the finish line? Can you contribute to her life as a partner or are you dead weight? Mental strength also means that you’re not emotionally unstable either. Are you plagued by fear or anger issues? That’s not saying we all don’t experience fear and anger as they’re natural emotions but are you considered a hot head or coward? Find a happy medium. Are you falling in “love” all the time with a new woman? If so, you’re unstable. Emotion is to be reserved only for situations or people deserving of them. When you’re constantly up and down (angry to happy, loving to hating) then you need to balance your emotions.


An honorable man lives in perfect harmony with the belief system he chooses to follow, no exception. You’re either honorable or not, there’s no gray. Deception, shadiness and contradictions reveal a fraud so be real in every action. A real woman needs a rationally honorable man, or someone who has achieved individuality rather than follow the rules established by others. This type of man does all he can to help her achieve her highest potential and satisfy her needs. He does what’s needed to be done, even if that entails supporting her decision to be with another man if she’s happier with him. You may not get her but if this is the type of man you are, you’re perfect for someone great.


And please don’t be a douche. Make friends with her before complimenting her looks and see if there’s a connection before professing your love. If she denies you, don’t go on the attack, wish her the best of luck in finding what she’s looking for. Don’t message her non-stop and harass her to death. RELAX, if she’s interested, she’ll let you know. Pursue friendship and let nature take it’s course.


Any male who isn’t secure, mentally strong and rationally honorable will self-destruct over time in the presence of a truly strong and independent woman. Reality proves that the majority of people in general fall short of being true alpha or strong/independent women; so if you’re part of the majority, stick to the majority. Don’t waste anyone’s time.






Posted in Self Help

The Unknown

By: Ryan Pettigrew


Your existence ended subconscious slumber,

Finding peace with pain and shade in the summer.

But now awake and aware of loneliness,

A conscious outcast yearning for your kiss.

Loving you becomes a double edged sword,

A deeper meaning but often feeling ignored.

Emotional removal from the comfort zone,

Rollercoaster going from giddy to alone.

Wanting nothing more than to make this forever,

But obstacles making it feel like a never.

Wanting to scream, feeling deprived of a dream,

One that didn’t exist ‘til you came on the scene.

Haunted but hopeful, questioning sanity,

Is it just a mirage exploiting vanity?

Or heaven on Earth as reward for the pain,

The unknown can drive the strongest man insane.

No going back after knowing you exist,

But scared to death while crossing the abyss.

Do you make me or break me? Only time will tell,

Not the first time I kicked open the gates of hell.

But the potential for your love fuels my drive,

And for that, I’m willing to risk a hard nose dive.

Posted in Poetry

How Being Our Best Physically Helps In Business

We live in a politically correct society but most of the time being that way is highly irrational, as it contradicts reality. We all want to believe the best in mankind but to think in a way that assumes most people are acting in this way is foolish and opens the door to failure and disappointment. If the majority behaved like we wanted, we’d never talk about honor, kindness, emotional stability, etc. since no one discusses the norm.


What we deem “beautiful” is an individual choice but one can’t really deny the fact that being healthy/fit is considered more beautiful than not by a landslide. This becomes very important in the business world since health increases cognitive efficiency and the brain responds to attractive people in the same way as it does cocaine addiction. By being fit, you’re considered “beautiful” by a larger number of people, and the more fit, the more beautiful you become; increasing your affect on others.


Let’s say two people are offering similar products and have no previous ties to the individual they are trying to sell their product to. The person considered more beautiful by the customer triggers that addictive reaction in the brain which sets that person apart from the other, increasing the chance of making the sale astronomically. Is this politically incorrect? Absolutely, but success requires being in touch with reality, not believing in unicorns.


Furthermore, health increases cognition by creating more neurons and lowering stress. Neurons are the electrically excitable cells that are in charge of passing brain messages to the rest of the body and thinking.


Stress hinders cognition by releasing chemicals in the brain that aids in your instinctual flight response. This was necessary during the caveman days to prevent over thinking when one needed to act quickly to avoid being eaten by a saber toothed tiger. In modern times, this instinctual response hurts us since very few situations are a matter of life or death. By reducing stress, we decrease these chemicals so the brain can be more effective.


This makes it clear that success in the business world requires physical fitness. That doesn’t mean one can’t succeed on any level without being fit but the reality is that one isn’t succeeding to his/her highest potential without being fit.



Posted in Self Help
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