By: Ryan Pettigrew

                We’re taught not to judge since all of us have imperfections and make mistakes but when we go too far in trying not to judge, we put ourselves at risk by associating with people who will bring us down. So where is that line drawn? And what’s the difference? Let’s analyze this issue thoroughly.

Judgment stems from insecurity; where the self-righteous judgment on issues related to lifestyle makes the judger feel better about him/her self. Choices concerning lifestyle (music, dress, non-forceful careers and pleasure, etc.) don’t matter on any level because they don’t affect others and make each person unique. This form of judgment is short-sighted and foolish, revealing self-loathing.glaasesformark_031_1024x1024

Humans make mistakes; where many actions that we disapprove of are only foolish and void of malicious intent. Those should be forgiven unless repeated since that shows a failure to learn from the past, impulsiveness and/or blatant disregard for others which isn’t about the mistake itself but rather the cause of the mistake.

That goes to show that not all mistakes are innocent (such as the above example of repeated mistakes) because they reveal dishonorable core values that are the root of the mistake or a mentality that invites more mistakes than most. Survival requires that we push the dishonorable and mistake prone away, to a distance that can’t harm us.

How do we distinguish from innocent mistakes and shady cores? This leads us to a psychology 101 discussion. One must look past the act to see what caused it. When mistakes are caused by overlooking something, not seeing from another’s perspective, miscommunication, etc. then the act was a mistake. If the act was a repeated mistake, an act of betrayal, forceful, malicious, hypocritical, deceptive, etc. then it reveals dishonorable core values that caused the act.

At the end of the day, we are who we decide to associate with and there are consequences for every action. So when we choose to embrace those who are impulsive or shady then we deserve to get burned and can’t complain when we do. Society may encourage us to love all equally but different core values and choices create different values. Success requires rising above being a blind follower, as followers are the norm and the successful are extraordinary. Forgive mistakes but free yourselves from those who will bring you down.


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Posted in Self Help

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